Oh my I had to look up that song because the lyrics ... especially the line you put in bold ... are amazing. I missed that song in the actual 90s ... which doesn't surprise me since I was locked into a specific groove of mainly Country and Tejano music at that time! Also I had to laugh when I looked up the movie because I thought it must be a Star Wars related one that I missed at first. I'm showing my age.
What a subject ... being our authentic self ... balancing that with expectations and getting by in the world. I have quite a lot of guilt when my needs clash with what others I care about need/want. Every year it does seem easier though for me to choose authenticity over conformity ... and just over a year ago when I turned 60 it became even more urgent in my soul to just be myself. I am able to be at home now (no longer working outside the home) and that allows me quite a bit of freedom to be more authentic. I still come up against others expectations and agendas ... a hazard of being "available" and "at home". If you're not careful your time is stolen completely away from you. I've battled the terrible perceptions of others that caregiving and housework even yardwork doesn't count and is expected of me because I'm not employed and I'm a woman. Luckily, my husband seems to value my work.
I have been practicing radical honesty as much as possible. Sometimes it's only my journal that gets to hear the full truth but that's a great start. I'm not afraid to tell it like it is in my journal and that often helps me respond better in real life when something comes up. I have a long way to go but it gets easier as I get older. I want to be nice and do good but that now includes myself. I used to give too much and leave almost nothing for myself. Lots to think about there. Great topic!
Whatever the most niche thing is, I'll fixate on it and it becomes part of my persona. I would suspect most people my age wouldn't get the song reference either! As an aside, can you give me three Tejano songs that are your favorite? I recently became interested in the genre.
The feelings of guilt are terrible, aren't they? After having it suggested to me countless times, I'm slowly making my way through the book Codependent No More.
I think putting full honestly in your journal is great. I am going to try to incorporate that into my journaling as well. I think it is a hopeful thing, that we can get better as we get older. I'm better at 50 than I was at 40. But looking at politicians, it appears you have to try to work at it and not everyone does!
Chris, thank you so much for your response and your friendship. I treasure you!
Hi Jessica! I am a huge Selena fan! My favorite CD of hers is: Amor Prohibido! Individual songs of hers I just love all the upbeat ones like Bidi Bidi bom bom, and also the ballot: Fotos y memories (not sure of the spanish spelling). I also love La Mafia my favorite two songs from them are: Vida (my all time favorite of any Tejano song) and Un Million de Rosas. Now these are older works … I’m not very current … I’m rather stuck on 80s/90s Tejano music. My motherinlaw also played a lot of Los Tigres del Norte and I liked them too but not as well as Selena and La Mafia. Oh my I need to get my CDs out. :) I’ll write more about the music in my reply to your letter!!!!
Oh my I had to look up that song because the lyrics ... especially the line you put in bold ... are amazing. I missed that song in the actual 90s ... which doesn't surprise me since I was locked into a specific groove of mainly Country and Tejano music at that time! Also I had to laugh when I looked up the movie because I thought it must be a Star Wars related one that I missed at first. I'm showing my age.
What a subject ... being our authentic self ... balancing that with expectations and getting by in the world. I have quite a lot of guilt when my needs clash with what others I care about need/want. Every year it does seem easier though for me to choose authenticity over conformity ... and just over a year ago when I turned 60 it became even more urgent in my soul to just be myself. I am able to be at home now (no longer working outside the home) and that allows me quite a bit of freedom to be more authentic. I still come up against others expectations and agendas ... a hazard of being "available" and "at home". If you're not careful your time is stolen completely away from you. I've battled the terrible perceptions of others that caregiving and housework even yardwork doesn't count and is expected of me because I'm not employed and I'm a woman. Luckily, my husband seems to value my work.
I have been practicing radical honesty as much as possible. Sometimes it's only my journal that gets to hear the full truth but that's a great start. I'm not afraid to tell it like it is in my journal and that often helps me respond better in real life when something comes up. I have a long way to go but it gets easier as I get older. I want to be nice and do good but that now includes myself. I used to give too much and leave almost nothing for myself. Lots to think about there. Great topic!
Whatever the most niche thing is, I'll fixate on it and it becomes part of my persona. I would suspect most people my age wouldn't get the song reference either! As an aside, can you give me three Tejano songs that are your favorite? I recently became interested in the genre.
The feelings of guilt are terrible, aren't they? After having it suggested to me countless times, I'm slowly making my way through the book Codependent No More.
I think putting full honestly in your journal is great. I am going to try to incorporate that into my journaling as well. I think it is a hopeful thing, that we can get better as we get older. I'm better at 50 than I was at 40. But looking at politicians, it appears you have to try to work at it and not everyone does!
Chris, thank you so much for your response and your friendship. I treasure you!
Hi Jessica! I am a huge Selena fan! My favorite CD of hers is: Amor Prohibido! Individual songs of hers I just love all the upbeat ones like Bidi Bidi bom bom, and also the ballot: Fotos y memories (not sure of the spanish spelling). I also love La Mafia my favorite two songs from them are: Vida (my all time favorite of any Tejano song) and Un Million de Rosas. Now these are older works … I’m not very current … I’m rather stuck on 80s/90s Tejano music. My motherinlaw also played a lot of Los Tigres del Norte and I liked them too but not as well as Selena and La Mafia. Oh my I need to get my CDs out. :) I’ll write more about the music in my reply to your letter!!!!